I always wonder just how many people in their 20's feel lonely. I’m only 22 but it’s a feeling I’ve come to recognize over the years. But nobody wants to talk about it because it's an uncomfortable thing to admit, especially when you're young and in your prime years of socialization. You don't think you should be feeling that way.
I personally don’t mind spending time alone. Actually, it is one of my favorite things to do and anyone who knows me knows, I may or may not be guilty of having canceled plans just to be able to be by myself, cuddled in bed. Don’t get me wrong. I love spending time with family and friends but I find being surrounded by people, makes me crave my alone time so much more. It’s not that I don’t want to be out there socializing but I feel the need to be by myself after being around people for too long. When I don’t have a few minutes to myself throughout the day, I feel drained and eventually irritable. But I know the stigma attached to spending time alone isn’t the greatest. I contstantly found myself wondering, why am I not more social, whether or not I’m weird for not wanting to be around people and the worst of it all, “Why can’t I be as social as ‘so and so’?” The feeling happens to all of us and it's something I want to talk about more online so it’s not so stigmatized. Being Alone VS Feeling Lonely Being alone is often confused with being lonely and that couldn’t be any further from the truth. I have actually felt the loneliest when surrounded by people. Being alone and lonely are two different things. Yes, they can be correlated to one another, but still….very different. Look at it like this, Alone is a fact. You are on your own, with no other person around. Lonely is how you feel about it. You’re unhappy about being alone. Nobody likes to admit that they may be feeling lonely, even to admit it to yourself is hard because let’s admit it…it’s embarrassing. But the more we make it such an embarrassing thing, the worse it feels for someone who happens to be lonely. It’s so easy to get into the mindset that it's your own fault that you're lonely but it rarely is, there are so many things to take into consideration and it's very rarely because you're a terrible person. I’ll admit it. Yes, I do feel lonely sometimes but the point I want to stress that it is okay to feel lonely in your twenties (or any other age for that matter). For the most part, I am very comfortable being alone and I’m proud of that because it’s something that takes a while to get used to. It isn’t not for everyone. At first, it was hard and I always worried that maybe it’s not normal that I enjoy being by myself so often but personally I think it can't be that much of a bad thing? I found that the more time I spent learning about myself; I no longer felt the need to seek and rely on the approval of others. Spending the day getting pampered by myself, going out to eat alone or even going for a walk can be really soothing to the soul because the only thing I have to worry about is myself. If it isn’t obvious by now, I am a huge advocate of spending time alone. It gives you time to recharge, find your own voice and improve the quality of your relationships with others. Being in your 20’s, it’s important to remember to work through life at your own pace. You do not need to compare your life progress and the quality of your social relationships to that of the next person. Don’t be afraid to hit up your best friend and let them know you’re lonely, set up a lunch date with someone you’d like to get know better, or take a couple weeks to completely immerse yourself in learning about yourself, what you like about yourself, what you don’t like and just fall in love with yourself. Sincerely, KW. How do you deal with feeling lonely?
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